When I became pregnant with our first baby, both my husband and I were nervous about the birth. I was worried about losing control of my body and being in a lot of pain and my husband was worried about not knowing what to do during labour and feeling like a "spare part". Calm births with Hannah was recommended by a friend to help us understand the process of labour and birth and to give us ideas to do both during pregnancy and labour.
We both loved the course and over the weeks we felt more in control and positive of giving birth to our baby. I enjoyed listening to positive affirmations every morning when I got up and listening to the ocean relaxation before going to bed. We also regularly started using the breathing phrase "I breathe in calm and my body and mind relax down" whenever we started to become anxious.
At 37 weeks, our obstetrician discussed with us that a natural labour may no longer be the best option for both me and the baby and that we needed to consider an elective c section. This was due to a blood pressure issue that I had developed later on in pregnancy and there was a concern that my heart would be unable to cope with labour.
Following this, I met again with Hannah to discuss how I could adapt what we have learnt in her sessions to support me during the c section. We also discussed options I could ask for during the c section to help me to feel more relaxed. After speaking with Hannah, I started listening more to the shooting stars relaxation as the part around worries about giving birth was really powerful and it allowed me to let go of the worries I had. My husband and I made a visualisation board which had pictures of happy memories, pictures of the beach to help with ocean relaxation (this was still a favourite), pictures of our baby scan and of the nursery. We made a playlist together of music to listen to whilst we were waiting and music to listen to during the section. We thought classical music would be helpful but wanted a fun twist so we included the jurassic Park and Harry Potter theme tune. We also started to think about the activities we could do together whilst we were waiting as we had found out a few days before that we would be the third in the order assuming there were no emergency sections.
On the day of the c section, we went in to hospital feeling excited as we knew we were meeting our baby that day. We were taken to our room to wait in until it was our turn. Maria, our midwife for the section, came to meet us and go through pre op information. We explained to her that we had been doing hypnobirthing and wanted to have as much of a calm birth as possible. She was very supportive of this and discussed with us our different options. She also explained that our obstetrician and anaesthetist were also advocates for hypnobirthing and so would be supportive. She offered to put some lavender essential oils on some cotton wool on my wrists and place them in a way that wouldn't hinder the anaethetist which I agreed to. We also agreed that she would give us a 20 minute warning before I was due to go in to theatre so I could listen to the ocean relaxation prior to going in. The midwife went on to tell everyone that would be present in the theatre that we were doing hypnobirthing and how we would like them to support us during the c section.
The midwife also offered to put the catheter in before going in to theatre. This would mean that it would be in the calming atmosphere of the room rather than in the busy theatre and it would allow me to feel more at ease as I would not be in a vulnerable position in front of other people. I agreed. I found it really helpful to use breathing phrases whilst it went in with my husband stroking my hand. It was uncomfortable but not painful and I was grateful that it was done in our own room.
Following this the anaesthetist came in to put the cannula into my hand. She was a lovely and nurturing woman, who was reassuring and asked if there was anything she could do to support the birth of our baby. She answered our last minute questions. I was due to have a spinal block rather than an epidural due to my blood pressure. The anaesthetist explained that this would mean I would not feel any pain but I would still have some of the sensations of touch on my skin and not to worry that it was not working. The theatre nurse also came in to check my details and explained that I would be asked to answer the same questions a number of times (name, dob, why I was there).
The obstetrician next came in to check if we had any last minute questions and to explain some last minute details. She offered to give me some drugs that would help with blood clotting and would mean that I would have less bleeding following the section.
With 20 minutes to go, the midwife ensured no one would disturb us. We listened to the shooting stars track together and then looked at our visualisation board. By the end of the 20 minutes, we were excited to meet our baby.
We walked round to the theatre with the midwife and my husband and I laughed about needing to carry my "pee bag". My husband put on a theatre gown, cap and shoes.
Although I had seen pictures of a theatre, the actual theatre I walked in to still surprised me and the sudden clinical feel to the situation raised my anxiety levels. The theatre nurse provided reassurance and helped me to get on to the bed. This required me to climb up a few steps in order to get on to the bed. The anaesthetist came over to explain that she would now do the spinal block and I would need to lean over a pillow in order to curve my spine. She warned me that I would feel a sudden pain. My husband came over and took my hand and started talking to me about our agreed visualisation about being on a beach in Barcelona. I did not feel the needle go in or the spinal block drugs and was surprised when I was told I could lie down. My husband then moved to sit down next to my head and a screen was placed up so I could no longer see from my neck down. The anaesthetist explained there would now be a slight delay as I already had the catheter in which is what usually happens during this time whilst they are waiting for the spinal block to take affect. Pumps were then attached to my legs so that my legs would have the stimulation of walking and this would ensure no blood clots were formed. As the spinal block was starting to take affect, I started to feel over heated and incredibly dizzy. My husband noticed that I wasn't looking well and asked the anaesthetist if everything was OK. She noticed that my blood pressure had significantly dropped and started to give me various medications to help counter act it. This did start to raise my anxiety levels so the anaesthetist offered to start playing our music and my husband prompted me to use our breathing techniques. To check the spinal block had worked, the anaesthetist sprayed a cold spray on my arm so I would know how cold it should be. It was then sprayed on my leg and although I could feel the spray, I couldn't feel the temperature of it.
The c section started and we had our music playing and my husband sat talking through our visualisation to help me to focus. The obstetrician popped her head round the curtain at one point to praise our music choice and asked for it to be turned up as she was enjoying it. I was warned when there would be some pressure to help maneuver baby out. It felt like incredibly hard pressure on my chest, apparently baby was comfy and had wedged their feet up into my ribs. We were told when the waters were about to break and we heard the rushing sound of water and then our baby crying. We had asked staff not to tell us the gender of the baby as we wanted to see for ourselves. The curtain was dropped and our baby lifted for us to see. We had a beautiful baby girl and she was born to Jupiter by Holst. Although my husband quickly changed it to the circle of life from the Lion King. We waited briefly whilst they did delayed cord clamping and pushing remaining blood to baby. The midwife then brought our baby girl over and put her skin to skin. Prior to lying down my gown had been loosened so the baby could be easily placed on my chest with the gown over the top of her.
The next 30 minutes flew so quickly. My husband and I were left alone to be with our baby girl whilst they completed the stitches they needed. My baby girl was briefly taken away whilst I was moved from the theatre bed to a ward bed via a slide (great fun). Whilst this happened my husband looked after our baby, took her to be weighed and cut her cord. She was then brought back to me for more skin to skin we moved up to the ward.
The c section was a lovely experience for both me and my husband and I look back on it with fond memories. What we learnt from Calm Births really helped us to prepare for the birth of our baby and helped us to feel empowered for the birth that we wanted. What we learnt has also continued with us into parenthood. We use the phrase "I breathe in calm and my body and mind relaxes down" all the time, especially on days when parenting feels hard. I've also continued to use the relaxation tasks to help me to get to sleep at night.
