But I have a Toddler - how can I find time to do Hypnobirthing??!

So you have a two year old, you're pregnant with your second, and it's really, REALLY tiring. Remember the first time around when you could just nap when you needed to and maternity leave meant vegging on the sofa eating Haribo, watching daytime TV? Not so much the second time round and it's really bloody hard right? And then there's me telling you that you need to find time to relax? And you think 'really lady?!!'. 

Calm Births Hypnobirthing

I know lovely, I've been there too - when I was pregnant with my third baby, I was dealing with a 3 year old and a 2 year old and, quite frankly, it sucked a lot of the time. I was just permanently knackered and they were just permanently crazy. It was relentless. I literally forgot I was pregnant for a lot of the first two trimesters - one memorable occasion a lady at a toddler group asked me when I was due, and I actually asked her 'when's what due?' She must've thought I was batsh*t crazy as five seconds later I remembered I was pregnant and told her when I was due.  BUT. I knew that I had to do something, I knew that I had to make time for this poor little baby who hadn't asked to be the third down in the pecking order. I knew how important it was to create space, time and love just for him or her.

And so this is how I know that it can be done - you just have to be a bit more flexible with it. In my continuing experience a lot of the relaxation techniques are actually massively beneficial for parenting too. When the children are going crazy and you're feeling the stress rise up, you have the tools and techniques to make you feel calm - and by practising this you are giving your baby some chill time and love too. Win-Win!!! 

When pregnant with second (or subsequent) baby you often just need to fall into bed at 8pm, but there's nothing stopping you falling into bed plugged in to your Relaxation audio, and falling asleep to the positive self hypnosis tracks. 

I KNOW it's difficult, but I also know that it is so worth it and you and this little baby will benefit so much from you just squeezing in any relaxation practice that you can each day. You deserve it, and this little one does too. 

There are some really interesting studies around how what we do during pregnancy shapes who are babies become. There's a wonderful TED talk here, where a scientist explains several studies that have been undertaken which have determined that our babies whole brain structure is altered according to our behaviours during pregnancy! For example how we eat determines how their metabolism is formed, if they perceive that they are coming into a world of scarcity because Mummy isn't eating much, then their body will form so that they store calories when they eat to keep them going for longer. Amazing right?

I tell you this not to terrify you, but to remind you of how important it is to care for yourself, and to just take any minutes you can to sit quietly with your bump and relax each day.  Many of the relaxation and breathing techniques we learn in Hypnobirthing can be done whilst sitting with a toddler who's playing. Your toddler will just think you're Supermum being all calm and chilled - and I can pretty much guarantee you'll notice a change in their behaviour too. 

In practical terms, a Hypnobirthing course is 5 sessions - so this means either finding a babysitter for 5 two hour slots, or having the classes privately in your home after your other child or children are in bed. It is achievable, and it is definitely worth it, I promise you! 

Calm Births meets: Allison Dench from Magic Photography

This month I have had the pleasure of meeting up with the lovely Allison, the owner of Magic Photography. I am just wishing I had known Allison when I was pregnant and my babies were small, as she takes the most beautiful (non cheesy) bump and baby photos. She also does the cake smash shoots which I just think are so fun!

Here is what Allison had to say when we met, including her rather lovely Calm Births Discount!:

1) Tell us a bit about you, how long have you been a photographer? Where is your studio based & where do you do outside sessions?

I am a mum of two and have been a photographer for 8 years now, originally doing weddings but now focus solely on portraits. I have a home studio in Burghfield Common, near Reading where I mostly do bump, newborn and baby sessions up to age one. I also do older children and family shoots in the Burghfield area, normally in Wokefield Common and Hosehill Lake near Theale, between April and November. 

2) What kind of shoots do you do that Calm Births customers might be interested in?

Primarily Calm Births customers may be interested in maternity (bump) shoots and also newborn shoots which are very popular now in the UK. As their families grow and get older they may consider a sitting shoot after baby can sit up unaided between 6-10 months old, a First Birthday Cake Smash or a family shoot outdoors.

3) How does a typical maternity shoot go?

I do two types of maternity shoots, either in the Studio or outside on location. I normally do shots of both mum-to-be on her own normally holding her beautiful bump, close-up shots of the bump and I have a whole host of long maternity dresses that she can use to make her look amazing. We also do some couple shots and if they already have children we also include the children in some of the shots. They are free to bring any little cuddly toys or their scan photos to work into their photo shoots, I try to make them as personal as possible. In the studio we can also go for a more natural look or a more dramatic look playing around with the light. Outdoors, it is more of a lifestyle shoot where we use the countryside as a beautiful backdrop.

4) Photographing newborns must be lovely but tricky, how does it all work and what age does baby need to be?

Newborn shoots are always amazing but yes they can be quite tricky at times and they can take between 3-4 hours as we take breaks when baby needs to be fed or changed and there is pretty much always the odd accident! In order to get the babies posed they are best done within the first three weeks after birth as they are still very flexible and normally quite sleepy. I normally try and do some shots of baby on their own, some in props and then some with the parents. They are mostly done with baby being naked or semi naked, I am a bit of a prop addict so I have a lot of little outfits, hats and headbands to enhance the sessions but I try to keep it quite simple as the focus will always be the baby! I normally book babies in before they are born so based on mum’s due date and once baby is born I will be informed so we can book in the actual session date.

5) Those cake smash pictures look brilliant! They must be pretty messy but fun! How does that work?

First Birthday shoots are a big favourite of mine, the babies are so cute and most absolutely love the cake! We sometimes have to be very quick as they can be quite mobile by the time they are 12 months old. We normally plan the session beforehand with the parents in terms of colour scheme or theme so I can then order the cake to match. They don’t tend to eat a huge amount of the cake and we mostly have to help them get messy with it but it is lots of fun and a fantastic way to celebrate a first birthday. We can start off with doing some family photos and classic portraits first, we then do the cake smash and finish it off with a lovely splash in my bath tub prop to clean up.

6) How much can clients expect to pay, and are you offering any promotions at the moment?

I offer a range of digital image packages. Maternity portraits start from  £175, Newborn Shoots start from £375 and Smash and Splash Shoots start from £225. Family shoots start from £325. All the details can be found on my websitewww.magicphotography.co.uk. If clients book both a Maternity and Newborn shoot they get 10% off the Maternity Shoot. I am happy to offer all Calm Births clients a £30 discount on any Full Shoot (Bump, Newborn, First Birthday Shoot or Family Session) or £20 off any mini shoot (Mini Bump Session or Smash and Splash Session). If they book a Maternity and Newborn Session I am happy to offer a 15% discount on the maternity shoot. I can be contacted either via my website, by email at info@magicphotography.co.uk or by phone on 07740929136. 

How bad IS induction of labour?...

So one question which always lingers in people's minds is how to use HypnoBirthing techniques if they are induced - won't it all go out of the window? Well, the answer is no, it won't. I want to reassure you that the process of induction isn't an evil thing to be dreaded, and you have everything you need to make it a positive experience with HypnoBirthing. You can read about two positive births following Induction from Calm Births clients here and here.

So induction can be suggested to you for various reasons, sometimes because you are considered to be 'post dates', sometimes due to clinical indications that you or baby would be safer if baby was born sooner than later. This is not a post to merit the pro's and con's of why induction is called for (that's a whole post on it's own!) but about the process itself. The below outline is on the assumption that you and baby are in no clinical compromise, and it's important to remember that each woman is individual and will therefore be treated accordingly. This is really a guideline for how it works if you are induced for being 'overdue' or there is no clinical urgency to birth your baby. It's really important to know that Midwives are aiming to do everything they can to help your body take over and go into labour with a nudge, they will be encouraging you to do everything possible to help along the way.

Once you are in your due time (and remember, there is a FIVE week window in which you are considered 'term' - from 37 to 42 weeks) your Midwife might offer you the option of having a Stretch & Sweep (awful name, I know) sometimes referred to as a 'Membrane Sweep'. This is a vaginal examination where the Midwife will locate your cervix and attempt to rotate her finger into the OS - this is hoped to trigger the cervix into releasing prostaglandins, which will encourage your body into labour. This process can be uncomfortable as the cervix can be quite far back, it can cause some uterine tightenings afterwards too. Studies have shown that it can help avoid any further means of induction, and that there is no increased risk of infection to the woman. Personally, I would weigh up how you feel about vaginal examinations - if they feel you with horror and anxiety then it might just be counter productive for you. If you don't really mind and are actually really keen (by 41 weeks for example) to go into labour, then discuss it with your Midwife. This is only offered as an option, it's not something you have to have. Don't forget to eat your dates at this point too - read about that here.

Different NHS trusts have different policies on induction, and so I won't go into specifics of what happens but try to paint a general picture. If it is agreed that induction is the best course of action for you, and you both understand why it is needed and are happy about it, then the ball will start rolling with your admittance to a labour ward. The first thing to happen will be an insertion of a pessary into the vagina which contains prostaglandins, which will help to ripen the cervix. This is a bit like a tampon usually, and is left inside the vagina for 24 hours - you will usually need to stay in the hospital, and the Midwives will encourage you to go for a walk, and to stay active to let gravity help you. This method is often all that is needed to give your body a kick start into going into labour, and then your body takes over and does what it's supposed to do to birth your baby.

If, after 24 hours, surges haven't started or become regular, then you will be examined again to see what is happening. Trusts vary on this, but some will give you a further 12 hours to let nature take over and others will want to intervene straight away. The next stage is usually for the Midwives to attempt to break the membrane seal, or 'break your waters'. This is another vaginal examination but is painless, it's really just popping a balloon with a plastic hook - it doesn't touch your skin or hurt you, it's usually quite a feeling of relief as the fluid releases.

This is then enough for some people's bodies to take over and go into labour, and varying amounts of time are then allowed for a woman's body to do it's thing. If, after the allotted time, labour still hasn't begun then the Syntocinon drip will be introduced. This is begun on a teensy amount, and gradually and slowly increased if it's needed to in order to encourage your uterus to begin tightening. Now, it is begun slowly, but as your body is being 'put' into labour at that point, you don't have quite the same amount of endorphin build up as if you had begun to labour naturally, and so pain relief is usually offered to you. If you need it, use it - there are no points awarded to someone for needing pain relief and refusing it!! This is the time when you need to remember all of your HypoBirthing techniques to help you to build your own endorphins, plug yourself in to your Relaxation audio, use your visualisations and light touch massage - birth partners need to pull it all out of the bag at this point!  

The key is to remain open minded and positive, just go with the flow at each stage, and embrace each stage as one nearer meeting your baby. Focus on the end goal of holding your baby in your arms, and their gaze meeting yours for the first time. You have all the breathing techniques and relaxation techniques that you need to make this a wonderful, positive birth so enjoy it!! xx 

A VBAC? At home? Are you mad?......

Well today has been a lovely day at Calm Births HQ as not just one, but TWO Calm Births HypnoBirthing babies have been born!! I've yet to hear the full birth stories, but I know that all is well. And I know that something totally wonderful has happened for one of my families. 

I met the lovely Sarah and Chris* back in January this year at the beginning of their 5 week course. Little was I to know then what a huge, life changing journey that would be for them, and what a journey of affirmation it would be for me.

Let me explain: Sarah and Chris already had two children, aged 5 and 2. Both babies, for various reasons, had been born by emergency caesarean section. The couple were embarking on a HypnoBirthing journey as they wanted to give themselves the best possible chance of having a very different experience this time around. To such an extent that they were planning to have a home birth this time.

When Sarah initially contacted me and told me where she lived I was a bit unsure about travelling the distance (a 100 mile round trip!), but when she told me of her plans to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) at home with this baby I couldn't help but be very excited to be part of that journey with them.

And so we began our 5 weeks of HypnoBirthing sessions. They had already read the book when we met, and I joked with Sarah that she knew so much about VBAC's from her research that she should train to be a Midwife after this baby. (She'd be great!) Over the period of time that we worked together, Sarah and Chris went full circle from being excited, passionate and determined to have the birth they were choosing, to being scared by caregivers into giving up that dream, and all the way back again.

Sadly, on paper it would seem that Sarah was a 'risk' as a VBAC and the fact that she wanted to do it at home clearly put the heeby jeebies into her local caregivers. She was made to feel that she was endangering her baby by choosing this path, and made to feel very sad and disempowered. But the couple found strength, continued to research and understand exactly what it was they wanted to do and what any (teeensy) risks might be. They then re-grouped, and cracked on with making plans for their homebirth.

And. They. Did. It. 

It makes me feel emotional just typing it. I am so utterly thrilled that this couple have taken their birth into their own hands, listened to all the advice, made their own, INFORMED decision and chosen the path that was best for THEM. And it WORKED!!!!! 

The reason I wanted to share this story with you, was because it has just been such a wonderful example of women standing up for themselves and choosing how their birth will be. Sarah and Chris were fully supported by their caregivers in their choice, once they had (very eloquently) explained their reasons and shown that they had fully researched it. 

I am sad that they had to go through this battle to achieve the birth they wanted, but thrilled that they felt empowered enough to stand up for themselves and to know that you ALWAYS have a choice. I just hope that more women begin to feel the strength and confidence that it takes to choose their birth journeys, and not be made to feel that they 'have' to do things a certain way.

The wonderful AIMS was very helpful in the research for this couple, and this article in particular is very good for anyone thinking about VBAC x

*Not their real names as they choose to remain anonymous

Why can't I just teach myself HypnoBirthing at home?

This seems to be a question I am hearing or reading more and more. And it's a fair question, and I respect that it's always good to challenge things - so I thought I would try to answer it as well as I can from my perspective as a HypnoBirthing Practitioner and experienced Midwife.

It is possible in this wonderful age of technology now to buy and listen to the course CD, download lots of birthing affirmations and watch lots of positive HypnoBirths on YouTube. So what else do you need right? Surely if you're doing all of these things then you've got it covered?

Well, yes - there will be some women for whom this is enough. But in all honesty, these women are pretty few and far between (and please comment if you are one such lucky lady!)

So what else are you getting from a course that you can't teach yourself? And why should you shell out all that money?

Well, the first, and to my mind the most important, thing is the support. Firstly the support for you as the woman who will be birthing the baby; it is so important to have the positive reinforcement of why HypnoBirthing works and how. The course practitioners are of varying backgrounds, but most (if not all) have birthed their own babies and many are Midwives or Doulas who have been with many women at the births of their babies. These practitioners are all passionate about one thing: HypnoBirthing. They all exude such confidence and passion on the subject that it is contagious. It is quite frankly impossible to attend the sessions and not to feel empowered, informed and supported in your personal journey. They won't just meet you in class and that be it, most will be available to you by phone or email before, during and after the birth of your baby to offer support and advice. That is something that you just can't get that from a CD or a book!! 

That support is equally important for your birth partner. The course is designed to teach the birth partner to understand exactly how important their role is (and man, is it important!) - and exactly what it is they can do for you during your pregnancy and birth to really help and support you. This cannot be overemphasised - you and your birth partner are a team, and you need to learn and be treated as such.

The practical elements of the course are very difficult to learn by reading or watching clips. I see many questions from women who are self-teaching asking forums if they are doing the breathing correctly, how perineal massage works and so on. In the classes we lead you into many wonderful relaxations to guide you in how it should be, including the fantastic Fear Release script which is very powerful and cannot be self taught. The light touch massage is another very powerful tool for the birth partner to use, we demonstrate this in class so that they really get it (and Mum gets a lovely treat as we practice on her!)

The cost is a common question - and again a fair one. However these classes are not just a few hours in a classroom with some lady talking about breathing. Your teacher will invest in you and your story, in your pregnancy and your birth. She will be there for you, tailor her care to you and become a part of your journey. It isn't really the 'cost' of the course, it's an investment in your life.

So, I hope that I've summed it up ok. I genuinely feel that my couples leave my classes floating on a cloud of relaxation and empowerment, and this gives them the tools to go ahead and have the wonderful HypnoBirth that they are capable of. And I just don't think you can read that in a book..

Positive Press for HypnoBirthing!

A lovely positive article about HypnoBirthing was written in the Guardian this week. It's fantastic to see the positivity about it in the mainstream media, I feel that it really helps to shed the Hippy Dippy image that HypnoBirthing currently has. 

I'm also pleased that this was a testimonial from a second time Mum, as I feel that HypnoBirthing is a wonderful gift for anyone who has had a bad experience with birth in the past. 

I hope that if more people are reading these articles in respected papers such as the Guardian, they might start to believe in how wonderful it really is and try it for themselves!

See the full article here