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HypnoBirthing Berkshire

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But I have a Toddler - how can I find time to do Hypnobirthing??!

So you have a two year old, you're pregnant with your second, and it's really, REALLY tiring. Remember the first time around when you could just nap when you needed to and maternity leave meant vegging on the sofa eating Haribo, watching daytime TV? Not so much the second time round and it's really bloody hard right? And then there's me telling you that you need to find time to relax? And you think 'really lady?!!'. 

Calm Births Hypnobirthing

Calm Births Hypnobirthing

I know lovely, I've been there too - when I was pregnant with my third baby, I was dealing with a 3 year old and a 2 year old and, quite frankly, it sucked a lot of the time. I was just permanently knackered and they were just permanently crazy. It was relentless. I literally forgot I was pregnant for a lot of the first two trimesters - one memorable occasion a lady at a toddler group asked me when I was due, and I actually asked her 'when's what due?' She must've thought I was batsh*t crazy as five seconds later I remembered I was pregnant and told her when I was due.  BUT. I knew that I had to do something, I knew that I had to make time for this poor little baby who hadn't asked to be the third down in the pecking order. I knew how important it was to create space, time and love just for him or her.

And so this is how I know that it can be done - you just have to be a bit more flexible with it. In my continuing experience a lot of the relaxation techniques are actually massively beneficial for parenting too. When the children are going crazy and you're feeling the stress rise up, you have the tools and techniques to make you feel calm - and by practising this you are giving your baby some chill time and love too. Win-Win!!! 

When pregnant with second (or subsequent) baby you often just need to fall into bed at 8pm, but there's nothing stopping you falling into bed plugged in to your Relaxation audio, and falling asleep to the positive self hypnosis tracks. 

I KNOW it's difficult, but I also know that it is so worth it and you and this little baby will benefit so much from you just squeezing in any relaxation practice that you can each day. You deserve it, and this little one does too. 

There are some really interesting studies around how what we do during pregnancy shapes who are babies become. There's a wonderful TED talk here, where a scientist explains several studies that have been undertaken which have determined that our babies whole brain structure is altered according to our behaviours during pregnancy! For example how we eat determines how their metabolism is formed, if they perceive that they are coming into a world of scarcity because Mummy isn't eating much, then their body will form so that they store calories when they eat to keep them going for longer. Amazing right?

I tell you this not to terrify you, but to remind you of how important it is to care for yourself, and to just take any minutes you can to sit quietly with your bump and relax each day.  Many of the relaxation and breathing techniques we learn in Hypnobirthing can be done whilst sitting with a toddler who's playing. Your toddler will just think you're Supermum being all calm and chilled - and I can pretty much guarantee you'll notice a change in their behaviour too. 

In practical terms, a Hypnobirthing course is 5 sessions - so this means either finding a babysitter for 5 two hour slots, or having the classes privately in your home after your other child or children are in bed. It is achievable, and it is definitely worth it, I promise you! 

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A Dad's perspective..

I had the pleasure this year in working with the lovely Sarah & Jon-Paul, in preparing them to meet their baby. They enjoyed a wonderful calm birth for their gorgeous daughter Adaline, and Jon-Paul subsequently wrote me this wonderful letter from a Dad's perspective, this is a must-read for any Dads unsure about taking the course:

Calm Births Hypnobirthing Berkshire

"Hannah asked how we felt following the course and I could not think of anything but the feeling of excitement.

Before the course I had not really thought about the labour and birthing process in enough detail. My responsibility and the actions I would need to take to support Sarah were yet to be processed in my mind. When thinking about the actual experience for Sarah, I had felt apprehensive due to the preconception of the pain she would need to deal with.

Even without the course, I know I would have done more to prepare myself to support Sarah. However, I now ask myself the question - would I really have been able to feel the confidence, excitement and feeling of calm that was achieved following this process?

The resources and knowledge about the birth process that Hannah offers was actually the element I did not expect from the course.

The exciting thing however stretches beyond preparedness. Being prepared practically and logistically is one thing, but what this course does (if you are open to it) is to allow a total change in mindset through mental exercise, education and the calming of the body through breathing.

For me, the mindset change through mental exercise and education about the physical process of birth, allowed us as a couple to forget the negative preconception. Terrible pain is not inevitable, birth is not traumatic. Birth is positive. With this new mindset, birthing is what it is and you are empowered to embrace this.

Breathing is a major element for both Mum and Dad. Breathing helps to focus the new mindset through calming the body and mind. The education element of the course showed us that it also plays a huge role in the birthing process for Mum - and it did.

I summarise this course into 3 elements:

1. Breathing resulting in calm and breathing for labour

2. Mental preparation, education and mindset change

3. Preparedness - mentally and logistically.

All elements are as important as each other and in my opinion is the reason HypnoBirthing works.

It makes one think through the birthing process more fully with a qualified and experienced Midwife. This gives you the important skills, knowledge and attitude to deal with the labour and birth.

I have not mentioned the actual birth story at all. Well, my Wife summarised her experienced best: 

"At the first Midwife follow up, when the Midwife asked how my birth was.. I replied: "lovely".

17 weeks in, Adaline remains calm, happy and delightful. Is this down to the Calm Birth process? I feel it is the way in which she entered the world and the lasting mindset of positivity and calm in which we try our best to bring her up with. Thinking about the future, I can't think of anything but the feeling of excitement."

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The Calm Births March Social!

On March 5th 2016 we held a get together for all Calm Births families, past and present. We spent a wonderful afternoon meeting new babies, sharing positive birth stories and eating cake!

New Mums comparing notes! 

New Mums comparing notes! 

It was fantastic to see the families coming together, some who had met during their group courses and others who had taken the private sessions with me. Others were either about to embark on their HypnoBirthing journey with Calm Births, or were mid-way through the course. All had the shared experience of using HypnoBirthing techniques to welcome their new babies into the world. 

New families meeting each other

New families meeting each other

I was thrilled to see the new Mums and Dads happily sharing their wonderful, positive birth stories with families who were waiting for their babies to arrive. New Mums were able to offer support, advice and reassurance to those whose turn it will be next.

It was also lovely to see those families who had shared their HypnoBirthing journeys together on the Calm Births group courses get together again and show off their beautiful new babies, and to take the first steps into new parenthood with the support and friendship of their HypnoBirthing friends.

HypnoBirthing friends meeting again

HypnoBirthing friends meeting again

My dream for Calm Births has been to build a community of supportive Mums and birth partners who can get together and support and advise each other. I believe that the friends we make on such courses, or in the early days of parenthood are so invaluable to us. Those friendships are so beneficial as you go through such a life changing transition together, I am thrilled that my little Calm Births family is beginning to grow in this way. 

Expectant parents together

Expectant parents together

I can't wait for the next Calm Births meet up when we will have lots of new babies who are currently waiting to make their appearances! Thank you to all who came, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did x 

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