But I have a Toddler - how can I find time to do Hypnobirthing??!

So you have a two year old, you're pregnant with your second, and it's really, REALLY tiring. Remember the first time around when you could just nap when you needed to and maternity leave meant vegging on the sofa eating Haribo, watching daytime TV? Not so much the second time round and it's really bloody hard right? And then there's me telling you that you need to find time to relax? And you think 'really lady?!!'. 

Calm Births Hypnobirthing

I know lovely, I've been there too - when I was pregnant with my third baby, I was dealing with a 3 year old and a 2 year old and, quite frankly, it sucked a lot of the time. I was just permanently knackered and they were just permanently crazy. It was relentless. I literally forgot I was pregnant for a lot of the first two trimesters - one memorable occasion a lady at a toddler group asked me when I was due, and I actually asked her 'when's what due?' She must've thought I was batsh*t crazy as five seconds later I remembered I was pregnant and told her when I was due.  BUT. I knew that I had to do something, I knew that I had to make time for this poor little baby who hadn't asked to be the third down in the pecking order. I knew how important it was to create space, time and love just for him or her.

And so this is how I know that it can be done - you just have to be a bit more flexible with it. In my continuing experience a lot of the relaxation techniques are actually massively beneficial for parenting too. When the children are going crazy and you're feeling the stress rise up, you have the tools and techniques to make you feel calm - and by practising this you are giving your baby some chill time and love too. Win-Win!!! 

When pregnant with second (or subsequent) baby you often just need to fall into bed at 8pm, but there's nothing stopping you falling into bed plugged in to your Relaxation audio, and falling asleep to the positive self hypnosis tracks. 

I KNOW it's difficult, but I also know that it is so worth it and you and this little baby will benefit so much from you just squeezing in any relaxation practice that you can each day. You deserve it, and this little one does too. 

There are some really interesting studies around how what we do during pregnancy shapes who are babies become. There's a wonderful TED talk here, where a scientist explains several studies that have been undertaken which have determined that our babies whole brain structure is altered according to our behaviours during pregnancy! For example how we eat determines how their metabolism is formed, if they perceive that they are coming into a world of scarcity because Mummy isn't eating much, then their body will form so that they store calories when they eat to keep them going for longer. Amazing right?

I tell you this not to terrify you, but to remind you of how important it is to care for yourself, and to just take any minutes you can to sit quietly with your bump and relax each day.  Many of the relaxation and breathing techniques we learn in Hypnobirthing can be done whilst sitting with a toddler who's playing. Your toddler will just think you're Supermum being all calm and chilled - and I can pretty much guarantee you'll notice a change in their behaviour too. 

In practical terms, a Hypnobirthing course is 5 sessions - so this means either finding a babysitter for 5 two hour slots, or having the classes privately in your home after your other child or children are in bed. It is achievable, and it is definitely worth it, I promise you! 

An interview with: A baby sleep consultant!

Lack of sleep. It's totally evil isn't it. We all turn a little bit crazy when we're tired, it can do really awful things to us. Putting keys in the fridge or tea on your cornflakes (yup, I've done both of those many times) - even packing everything into the car and driving away only to realise that your baby was actually still in her car seat on the pavement. (No, I would never do such a sleep deprived crazy thing......... honest...)

We've ALL been there, and it's pure torture (and ignore that annoying lady at baby class who says HER baby is perfect & has slept through the night since day 1. Not true.) That one thing can dictate how we feel emotionally, physically, how we interact with our children, our spouses, how we cope with daily life. 

So it's really little wonder that there seems to have been a massive rise recently in people turning to Sleep Consultants to help them work out how to encourage their babies and children to get into better sleep habits. I recently got to chat to a lovely local sleep consultant named Zoe Payne, the owner of Baby Sleepy Dust, and I found out what it's all about, here's what she had to say:

 Hi Zoe, would you tell us how you became a Sleep Consultant? 

I had a terrible time with my own daughter as by the time she was 9 months old, she had been waking every hour of the night for about six months.   I looked into getting help from a sleep consultant and through my research, I discovered that I found the issue of baby and child sleep fascinating and wanted to find out more so that I could help other people like me.  I completed two courses over the space of a year of training and research.  Of course I was able to immediately correct what was happening with my daughter's sleep - she now sleeps like a dream at night and during the day - and I was also able to help many friends and family by using them as case studies while I completed my training.  I have now been helping families with sleep issues for a year and a half and I love being able to support parents through this process to the point where their children are getting the sleep they need.

 What exactly do you aim to do for your clients?

All babies and children are different so my first aim is to find out as much as I can about each family's routine, needs and preferences before I design a sleep plan for them.  Through my training and ongoing research, I am extremely well informed on a variety of techniques of 'sleep training' so I can put together a programme that will suit each family rather than just offering one approach to everyone.  The most difficult thing for parents when trying to adjust their child's sleep is continuity and consistency, especially in the middle of the night when they are exhausted.  There are often a few nights where it feels like things are getting worse rather than improving and so once I have provided the sleep plan and discussed it in great detail, my role is to support parents through the process as much as they need me to and I always continue to do this until they are completely happy with the results.

Zoe Payne

Who are your clients, and is there an age limit for the babies?

I have designed a workshop for expectant and new parents that gives them the tools to gently introduce good sleep habits in the first six months.  I identified this as a key stage in sleep development and it is a gentle way to gear your baby to sleep well and through the night once they are weaned at around 6 months old.  This workshop promotes independent sleep and should mean that parents can avoid certain sleep habits creeping in which may require 'Sleep Training' once their babies are over 6 months old.  I also provide sleep plans and ongoing support for parents of babies and children from 6 months to 5 years old. 

This sounds amazing! So how long does it usually take for people to see a difference in their babies sleep habits?

 It really depends on what is happening with each baby's sleep, what methods the parents are comfortable using and age is also a factor.  Parents of younger babies, between 6 months to a year old, should start to notice things greatly improving within 5-7 nights.  With slightly older children it can sometimes take up to 2 weeks.  The main reason for there being any delay in the progress will be down to a break in the consistency of the sleep plan.  

What happens if it doesn't work?!

This is a difficult question to answer!  I have never had an occasion where we have decided that it hasn't worked - there have been occasions where parents feel they can't carry on with the original sleep plan; when this happens, there is no point pushing them to continue as they need to be behind what they are doing 100% in order to make it work.  If this is the case, I help them adjust things until we find a way that will work for them before continuing until they are happy their child is getting enough sleep.  Once or twice people have decided that the process isn't what they want to do at that time and I always say that I'm happy to pick up where we left off sometime in the future if and when they would like to. 

How does it all work practically?

I offer an initial consultation free of charge over the phone - this is important as parents need to be absolutely sure that this is something they want to do.  If they decide to go ahead then I offer face-to-face, telephone or Skype ongoing support packages once I have produced the sleep plan.  The ongoing support is unlimited and continues until everyone is happy with the results. 

How should people get in touch with you if they'd like to find out more?

I have a website so people can find out more on there at: www.babysleepydust.co.uk

If they would like to arrange the initial consultation or if they have any questions I am available on my mobile from 8am until 9pm on weekdays and 8am until 5pm on weekends - 07584 493 580 and the same hours on email: zoe@babysleepydust.co.uk

I would like to offer a 15% discount on all my services to anyone who contacts me via Hannah at Calm Births so please mention this is where you heard about me in order to take advantage of the discount! 

What pi**es me off about HypnoBirthing.

Do you know what narks me most about HypnoBirthing? The name 'HypnoBirthing'. It's really crap isn't it. It just immediately conjures images like this: 

And this:

I definitely do NOT do this!

When in reality, I don't even have a beard. Not even a single tie-die skirt in my wardrobe. Would you believe I don't even own a pendulum? Disappointing I know, but that's the stark reality of HypnoBirthing. It's actually really full of lovely people educating themselves about one of the most transformative events of their lives. 

And as much as I like to think of myself as a hippy at heart, I couldn't actually be more of an average middle aged woman if I tried. My background is based in learning, in evidence, in being a Midwife. Not in singing, chanting and swinging pendulums. 

But the sad fact is that the name 'HypnoBirthing' does still conjure those images for people, and puts them off learning about something that is evidence based, science based and could transform their birth experiences. I still get the raised eyebrows when I tell people what I do, and you can sense the question on the tips of some peoples tongues of 'when are you going to stop doing this crap and get back to being a Midwife, that's a proper job'. 

The simple fact is that HypnoBirthing is a combination of Hypnotherapy and birth education.

No-one thinks that Hypnotherapy is weird anymore, that is a socially accepted form of therapy used widely in the NHS for various things. You will know at least one person that has tried it for giving up smoking or weight loss. So what's so weird about using it for childbirth, one of the biggest events of your life??!! It is my hope that over time,  the stigma of the word 'HypnoBirthing' will be less, and people will imagine less of the hippy chanting birthing in streams type stuff, and more of this:

Two of my lovely Calm Births couples.

Which is what it actually looks like! 

 More and more families are choosing HypnoBirthing and it is benefitting families worldwide every day, making birth a wonderful process to embrace, not one to fear. It's just a shame the term is a bit crap really isn't it.. x

To find out more simply visit: www.calmbirths.uk