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But I have a Toddler - how can I find time to do Hypnobirthing??!

So you have a two year old, you're pregnant with your second, and it's really, REALLY tiring. Remember the first time around when you could just nap when you needed to and maternity leave meant vegging on the sofa eating Haribo, watching daytime TV? Not so much the second time round and it's really bloody hard right? And then there's me telling you that you need to find time to relax? And you think 'really lady?!!'. 

Calm Births Hypnobirthing

Calm Births Hypnobirthing

I know lovely, I've been there too - when I was pregnant with my third baby, I was dealing with a 3 year old and a 2 year old and, quite frankly, it sucked a lot of the time. I was just permanently knackered and they were just permanently crazy. It was relentless. I literally forgot I was pregnant for a lot of the first two trimesters - one memorable occasion a lady at a toddler group asked me when I was due, and I actually asked her 'when's what due?' She must've thought I was batsh*t crazy as five seconds later I remembered I was pregnant and told her when I was due.  BUT. I knew that I had to do something, I knew that I had to make time for this poor little baby who hadn't asked to be the third down in the pecking order. I knew how important it was to create space, time and love just for him or her.

And so this is how I know that it can be done - you just have to be a bit more flexible with it. In my continuing experience a lot of the relaxation techniques are actually massively beneficial for parenting too. When the children are going crazy and you're feeling the stress rise up, you have the tools and techniques to make you feel calm - and by practising this you are giving your baby some chill time and love too. Win-Win!!! 

When pregnant with second (or subsequent) baby you often just need to fall into bed at 8pm, but there's nothing stopping you falling into bed plugged in to your Relaxation audio, and falling asleep to the positive self hypnosis tracks. 

I KNOW it's difficult, but I also know that it is so worth it and you and this little baby will benefit so much from you just squeezing in any relaxation practice that you can each day. You deserve it, and this little one does too. 

There are some really interesting studies around how what we do during pregnancy shapes who are babies become. There's a wonderful TED talk here, where a scientist explains several studies that have been undertaken which have determined that our babies whole brain structure is altered according to our behaviours during pregnancy! For example how we eat determines how their metabolism is formed, if they perceive that they are coming into a world of scarcity because Mummy isn't eating much, then their body will form so that they store calories when they eat to keep them going for longer. Amazing right?

I tell you this not to terrify you, but to remind you of how important it is to care for yourself, and to just take any minutes you can to sit quietly with your bump and relax each day.  Many of the relaxation and breathing techniques we learn in Hypnobirthing can be done whilst sitting with a toddler who's playing. Your toddler will just think you're Supermum being all calm and chilled - and I can pretty much guarantee you'll notice a change in their behaviour too. 

In practical terms, a Hypnobirthing course is 5 sessions - so this means either finding a babysitter for 5 two hour slots, or having the classes privately in your home after your other child or children are in bed. It is achievable, and it is definitely worth it, I promise you! 

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One Born Every Minute's Natal Hypnotherapy Birth

Now, it must be said that I'm not always the biggest fan of OBEM, and most of my Midwife or Doula friends would say the same. Over the years working as a Midwife I would often meet women coming in to the hospital to have their babies, who were just plain terrified about childbirth and what was happening to them. And it was our jobs as Midwives to reassure them that it's a normal process and try to empower them to have a calm birthing experience.

However since OBEM appeared on our screens it must be said that there were suddenly a lot more of these very frightened women - and something that I heard all too often was that they'd been watching the series avidly whilst pregnant. 

Part of the HypnoBirthing ethos is that a woman should not have to listen to other's (usually grossly exaggerated) birth horror stories, in fact we often give women badges to wear saying 'Positive Birth Stories Only Please! My baby is listening'. A woman should be surrounded by positivity and reassurance that birth is natural, normal and wonderful.

Anyway this post was not intended to rant about the programme, but to commend them for showing the beautiful Natal Hypnobirth of Nadine and her husband - the most supportive birth partner in the world! It proved that HypnoBirthing really is an amazing tool for a woman who has had a less than ideal time with her first baby. It shows how a woman can empower herself to have the calm, gentle and beautiful birth just like Nadine, despite having been terrified to begin with. 

So bravo OBEM, you're finally showing what birth really should and CAN be like!

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