2020 has been a ridiculous year for everyone, and for those who have had or are having lockdown babies it is particularly challenging. Gone are the support groups of new Mums that you would normally have, gone are the friends and families popping round and helping you out. I feel for you, it’s a tough time.
But there are people out there who are helping, such as the wonderful services offered by postnatal doulas. A postnatal doula is someone who will offer you personal support both practically and emotionally after the birth of your baby.
I recently had the pleasure of meeting Clare Lowing, a postnatal Doula with many years experience and this is what I learned:
1. Hi Clare, please do introduce yourself and tell us a little about you!
Hi Hannah, Thank you for inviting me to chat with you. I’m passionate about birth and parenting and work with parents to make their early experience of parenting as positive and peaceful as possible. I’m originally from this area and it’s lovely to be back; having met my future husband at Henley College, our youngest is now studying there herself. This year I’ve especially enjoyed walking and swimming in the beautiful countryside and time for myself has included sewing, baking or writing. A perfect day would include an outdoor swim, a home-cooked meal and a board game with my family.
2. How long have you worked in and around birth and parenting? What brought you to it?
When my first daughter was born I went to a Baby Massage course purely to meet other mums; I was in deepest rural Devon and felt pretty isolated. As an Aromatherapist I felt I knew about massage but I had lots to learn about babies and went on to train as an Infant Massage Instructor with the International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM). That was about 18 years ago and I still love running these courses now. The key is that the course is about more than the massage; it’s about creating a space for mums to get-together, share and support one another. (By the way, dads and partners are very welcome to the sessions). I find it genuinely rewarding and along the way I’ve taken courses in Breastfeeding support, become a Postnatal Doula and worked as an NCT Practitioner for 10 years. I also set up Exeter Homebirth Support Group, which is one of the things of which I’m most proud.
3. What is it that you aim to do for your clients?
I say that I know I’ve been successful when my clients don’t need me anymore! As a postnatal doula, I’m ‘mothering the mother’ and what that looks like depends on what each family is looking for. I’m often providing nurturing home-cooked meals, helping with feeding issues like positioning and attachment and demonstrating, either ways to wear a baby carrier or massage for colic relief. At other times, I am taking an older child for a walk with the dog so mum can have some alone time with the baby or I’m giving dad a shoulder massage. At the end of my time with a family they should feel connected to other new families and sources of support in their area, including my Mums Group or Walk and Talk.
I started running Walk and Talk groups with the aim of providing an environment where parents and parents-to-be would find it easier to make conversations and boost their mental health. I love nothing more than listening to parents give suggestions to other parents, I’ve learnt that each mum or dad is the expert on their baby. My role is often just about helping them realise that, rather than giving them lots of advice, although there is some of that too!
4. Who are your clients and at what point is it best for them to get in touch with you?
It’s great when pregnant women and their families get in touch whether it’s for antenatal information or because they are planning their ‘peaceful postpartum’. Today we often plan carefully for birth and neglect those important early days but by planning before the birth we can make the whole new parenting experience positive and relaxed. I’m also often contacted by new parents interested in Baby Massage and Walk and Talk and they could get in touch anytime. The ideal time to start offering massage is about six weeks and my courses welcome pre-crawling babies.
5. How do you feel that COVID has affected what you do and how you offer it? Is there more need for your services in this time?
I was blown away by the response when I created a closed community Facebook group for new and expectant parents back in March. Connecting with other parents was and is more important now than ever. I moved my services straight on to Zoom and haven’t looked back. It’s not the same as face to face but in Mums Group we learnt to use breakout rooms as the group grew and we started sharing songs and games for babies. I’ve found that there are even advantages to running Baby Massage courses on Zoom - if you don’t like singing or feel your baby is too noisy, just mute! Discreet feeding and nappy changing is easy. Plus there’s none of the stress involved in getting out of the house on time. So that the mums can meet face to face, we’re meeting for socially distanced walks, which works as there is a maximum of five families in the group. I do miss baking for new mums though and look forward to re-starting face to face groups in 2021.
6. What piece of advice would you like to give to pregnant Mums right now?
Trust your instincts, know your rights, gather your support group. Plan for the early days as much as for the birth; download my free Peaceful Postpartum Planner here!
7. And finally, how can people get in touch with you to find out more?T
hank you Hannah. People can have a look at my website: www.birthbabyparent.com or find me on Facebook www.facebook.com/birthbabyparent. I’m more than happy to chat through what support or course might work best.
