How can you help as a birth partner?

How a Birth Partner Can Support Hypnobirthing

A birth partner is a crucial part of the hypnobirthing journey, offering love, strength, and support every step of the way. Here’s how you can make a difference during the big day:

Offer Comforting Touch: Gentle massage or hand-holding can help calm and reassure, providing comfort and a sense of safety.

Encourage Positive Affirmations: Using positive, calming words and affirmations that you have learnt and practiced together can help maintain focus and relaxation.

Help with Relaxation Techniques: Guide your partner through breathing exercises and relaxation techniques learned in hypnobirthing classes. Your calm presence can amplify the impact of these techniques!

Stay Present & Calm: Your ability to stay relaxed and composed will create a supportive atmosphere for both you and your partner. Hypnobirthing is all about minimizing fear and anxiety – and your peaceful energy is key!

Advocate for the Birth Plan: Being informed and supportive of the birth plan allows you to advocate for choices, ensuring the birth environment is aligned with your partner's wishes.

Remember: Your presence and involvement can make all the difference, helping your partner feel empowered, loved, and confident as they bring new life into the world, no matter how your baby decides to arrive.

Our four week courses are designed for both birthing Mum and birth partner, to give you BOTH a full set of skills and techniques to remain feeling calm and in control during your baby's birth. Check out our ‘Find a Teacher’ page to find classes near you.

Pregnancy sickness

Pregnancy and Sickness: Understanding the Challenges and Coping Strategies

Pregnancy is often described as a time of great joy and anticipation, but for many women, it can also be a time of physical discomfort. Morning sickness, which is typically associated with early pregnancy, affects many expectant mothers, and while it's usually temporary, it can be tough to handle. If you're going through this, you're not alone. Let’s explore pregnancy-related sickness, why it happens, and ways to cope with it, including how hypnobirthing techniques, like those offered by Calm Births, can support your journey.

What is Morning Sickness?

Despite the name, morning sickness doesn’t just happen in the morning—it can occur at any time of day and even last all day for some women. Morning sickness refers to nausea and vomiting that typically occurs in the first trimester of pregnancy. It is believed to be linked to hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy, particularly the increase in human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) and oestrogen levels.

While the exact cause isn't fully understood, several factors contribute to morning sickness, such as:

• Hormonal fluctuations: As pregnancy hormones surge, they can upset the stomach, leading to nausea.

• Increased sensitivity to smells: Pregnant women often experience heightened senses of smell, which can trigger nausea when exposed to certain odors.

• Changes in metabolism: The body is working harder to support a growing foetus, and this can affect digestion and cause stomach discomfort.

How Long Does Morning Sickness Last?

For most women, morning sickness peaks around the 9th week of pregnancy and gradually subsides by the 12th to 14th week. However, some women may experience it for a shorter period, while others may find it lasts longer, extending into the second trimester. A small number of women may even experience severe nausea and vomiting throughout their entire pregnancy, a condition known as hyperemesis gravidarum, which may require medical intervention.

Beyond Morning Sickness: Other Types of Pregnancy Sickness

While morning sickness is the most common form of pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting, other issues may arise during pregnancy that can also make women feel unwell:

• Heartburn and indigestion: As the uterus expands, it presses against the stomach, which can cause acid reflux and discomfort.

• Fatigue: Early pregnancy can leave you feeling exhausted, as your body adjusts to the changes required to support a growing baby.

• Headaches: Hormonal changes, dehydration, and stress can contribute to headaches during pregnancy.

• Dizziness: As blood volume increases, blood pressure can fluctuate, causing feelings of lightheadedness or dizziness.

Coping Strategies for Pregnancy Sickness

While pregnancy sickness can feel overwhelming, there are several ways to ease the discomfort and make it more manageable.

1. Eat Small, Frequent Meals

Instead of having three large meals, try eating small meals throughout the day. This can help keep blood sugar levels stable and prevent nausea. Focus on bland, easy-to-digest foods such as crackers, toast, or rice. Avoiding overly spicy or greasy foods can also help keep nausea at bay.

2. Stay Hydrated

Dehydration can worsen nausea and vomiting, so it’s important to drink plenty of water. Sipping on fluids throughout the day can be easier on your stomach than drinking large amounts at once. You might also try ginger tea or electrolyte drinks to stay hydrated and reduce nausea.

3. Get Fresh Air

Sometimes, a little fresh air is all it takes to alleviate nausea. A short walk outside or simply sitting by an open window can help. Some women find that a gentle breeze or being in nature can provide comfort during bouts of sickness.

4. Rest and Relax

Fatigue is a common side effect of pregnancy, and exhaustion can exacerbate nausea. Make sure to take naps and prioritize rest. Stress can also make symptoms worse, so try relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation to calm your mind and body.

One way to address stress is through hypnobirthing. This practice focuses on using relaxation and visualization techniques to promote calm and reduce anxiety during pregnancy and childbirth. Calm Births Hypnobirthing offers courses designed to guide you through pregnancy, helping you manage both physical discomfort and emotional stress. By learning to stay calm and centered, you can reduce the impact of pregnancy sickness on your overall experience.

5. Avoid Triggers

Certain smells, foods, or environments may trigger nausea. If you know there are specific things that set off your symptoms, try to avoid them as much as possible. This may involve asking others to avoid strong perfumes or cooking smells around you or adjusting your environment to make it more comfortable.

6. Consider Ginger and Vitamin B6

Some studies suggest that ginger may help alleviate nausea, so incorporating ginger tea, ginger chews, or ginger ale into your routine might provide some relief. Vitamin B6 supplements are another option that some pregnant women find helpful for managing morning sickness. Always check with your midwife before taking any supplements.

7. Seek Medical Help If Necessary

In some cases, morning sickness can become severe or even progress into hyperemesis gravidarum, a condition characterized by excessive vomiting and dehydration. If you find that you're unable to keep food or liquids down or are losing weight, it’s essential to contact your healthcare provider immediately. They may recommend prescription medication or other treatments to help manage your symptoms.

When to Call Your Doctor

While morning sickness is common and usually not a cause for concern, there are times when you should reach out to your doctor or midwife:

• Severe dehydration: If you’re unable to drink fluids or keep food down, or if you notice signs of dehydration (dry mouth, dark urine, dizziness), seek medical attention right away.

• Hyperemesis gravidarum: If vomiting is persistent, severe, and accompanied by weight loss, this may require medical intervention.

• Other unusual symptoms: If you experience fever, abdominal pain, or spotting in addition to your nausea and vomiting, consult your healthcare provider for a thorough evaluation.

Final Thoughts

Pregnancy-related sickness can be a challenging part of the pregnancy journey, but remember, it’s usually temporary. With the right self-care practices, support from your healthcare team, and a little patience, you’ll get through it. If you're struggling, consider incorporating relaxation and visualization techniques from Calm Births Hypnobirthing to help manage stress and discomfort. These tools can not only assist with sickness but also prepare you for the birth process ahead.

The most important thing is to listen to your body, take it easy when you need to, and remind yourself that this phase will pass—usually by the time you reach the second trimester. Until then, take it one day at a time and remember that it's all a part of bringing new life into the world.

Calm Births empowering families!

A word we use a LOT at Calm Births is empowerment.

One of our main drivers is to empower families to achieve positive, calm births. Our other goal and passion is to empower people to share their skillset and become amazing hypnobirthing teachers themselves, who can then in turn empower people in their own communities. It’s an amazing cycle!

The two processes are surprisingly not that different - with parents-to-be we are educating them in the process of birth, and giving them specific techniques that they can use in any situation where they feel anxious or out of control. We offer them support specific to their individual circumstances and hold their hand until they are holding their baby in their arms.

With teachers-to-be, with fully educate them in birth, hypnobirthing and antenatal education. We give them a specific syllabus to use that works, we give them specific tools that work to build a business and we hold their hand all the way along their journey to becoming successful in their new businesses.

In both areas, we are people’s cheerleaders, we’re giving them accurate, evidence based information and arming them with it, and holding their hands on their special journeys.

It’s what makes us tick and we love it!

To find a hypnobirthing teacher near you just look here. Or to learn more about becoming a hypnobirthing teacher look here x

Hypnobirthing in Reading, Berkshire

With 40+ Calm Births Hypnobirthing teachers around the UK and four just in the Reading area alone, we’ve got you covered! We are super lucky in the Reading area to have four qualified Hypnobirthing instructors ready to take you on your journey to achieve a positive, calm birth.

Calm Births is very privileged to be one of only three hypnobirthing companies in the UK who are accredited by the Royal College of Midwives, so you can rest assured that our teachers are trained to a very high standard and give you good, evidence based knowledge based on science (and passion!)

So let’s introduce you to your hypnobirthing teachers offering courses in Reading:

Katie (far left in picture) - is a Mum of two gorgeous girls, also a certified Life Coach and teaches parents in and around the Spencers Wood area. Katie began her hypnobirthing journey when she joined Calm Births classes as a Mum-to-be herself. Using the Calm Births techniques empowered her to have two wonderful, relaxed and positive births and she is now very passionate about sharing these skills with other parents-to-be in the area. Katie teaches both 1:1 and groups both live and virtually. You can see Katie’s website at Mind Body Mother Hypnobirthing.

Sarah (second from left in picture) - similarly to Katie, Sarah began her journey to hypnobirthing with her first pregnancy during which she took Calm Births classes. Sarah went on to have two very positive birth experiences and now loves to share this knowledge with parents in and around the Aldermaston area. Sarah is also a Paediatric Nurse and practising Health Visitor, and so comes with a real wealth of wisdom and knowledge about all things baby! You can get in touch with Sarah by email at: hello@islandbirthco.com

Linda (third from left in picture) - Linda has 20+ years experience in the birth world as an antenatal educator and Doula, empowering and supporting parents to be with education and passion. Linda also runs the very popular Reading homebirth support group which you can see here. She runs classes from her home in Woodley or virtually for those further away. You can see Linda’s website at Woodley Hypnobirthing.

Hannah (far right in picture) - Hannah is the founder of Calm Births, having used her 10 years experience as a Midwife and subsequent career as a Hypnotherapist as the basis for the creation of the course (that and having her own three babies!). Hannah teaches from her home in Burghfield Common, or happily via Zoom to people further afield. She now also trains other passionate people to become Calm Births instructors around the country. To see some more information about Hannah just see her page here.

So you see - any pregnant people in Reading looking for hypnobirthing classes are pretty well covered by our amazing team! For a full list of instructors around the UK you can click here.

Mum & Baby Yoga classes in Reading

Calm Births Mum & Baby Yoga classes are back in Reading! Following a rather prolonged hiatus due to Covid, we are now able to resume face to face classes safely.

Mum & Baby Yoga classes are designed specifically for Mums and their non-mobile babies, the Yoga is for Mum to very gently regain her pre-pregnancy strength and core balance, and we entertain the baby along the way. This is a wonderful way to bond with your baby in a fun environment. Our classes are small, relaxed and friendly - lots of wonderful friendships have been made between parents (and babies too!). We have plenty of time to chat about the important things, to look after you emotionally as well as physically.

We know that babies will need to be fed, cuddled or changed at various points and that is all fine. There is no judgement of any kind, I encourage you to do what your baby needs you to do, and to join in with what you can.

I am a qualified Birthlight Yoga teacher with a background in Midwifery, and I am also a Mum of 3 myself - so I fully understand how important it is for you to take a little time to honour and look after your postnatal body and mind each week for your full and thriving recovery from birth. It’s so important to be able to connect with other new Mums to share your experiences and support each other too.

Classes run on Friday mornings from 10-11.15am in the Grazeley Green Village Hall (RG7 1LD). Due to number restrictions booking is essential, and the cost is £10 per class - for block bookings of 4 the cost is £35 (£8.75 per class).

To book your slot or for more information please simply click below or get in touch by email: hannah@calmbirths.uk / call: 07852 954122

I look forward to meeting you and your baby! Hannah x

Why pregnant people should NOT eat pineapple.

Ok, so that’s a bit of a sensationalist headline isn’t it?! But when you’re pregnant you are constantly bombarded with these messages of ‘you MUST do this’ or ‘whatever you do, DON’T do that!’ which can feel somewhat overwhelming and scary - who do you listen to?

This is why our course is carefully created from accurate, evidence based information, accredited by the Royal College of Midwives. But enough of that - what about the pineapple?

So there are many old wives tales about what you should and shouldn’t eat in pregnancy, and pineapple is often one that comes up.

It’s usually cited as something you should eat to help you go into labour, when I ask my clients which methods they have heard of for naturally inducing labour, pineapple, curry and sex are always top of the list.

Pineapple is thought to contain an enzyme called bromelain, which is known to stimulate the prostaglandins in the body which in turn soften the cervix. It is difficult to find any hard evidence on this, but it is widely believed that the bromelain is contained in the core of the pineapple, which needs to be fresh as the bromelain is lost in the canning process.

It is also widely believed that the levels of bromelain are low, meaning that you would need to eat approximately 7 fresh pineapple cores in order for it to work its magic!

So, it’s not looking great for pineapple to be a natural induction tool. However, what we ALSO know, is that in the last trimester of pregnancy, the bowel slows down a lot due to those pesky hormones - this can often lead to constipation and the awful haemorrhoids (piles) and so in fact eating lots of fresh fruit is really helpful for that.

In conclusion, if you really feel like eating 7 fresh pineapple cores there may just be a chance that it might soften your cervix a little, but it’s not going to do enough to warrant the awful indigestion and diarrhoea that will be involved in the process!

There are lots of other natural methods that we can use to safely help bring on labour, they are discussed in the Calm Births book here, or discussed on a course with any of our teachers.

Can you use hypnobirthing with induction of labour?

So a question I’m often asked is if hypnobirthing can still be used if you need to be induced. In a word? YES!!

In actual fact, in my humble opinion (formed after 10 years service as a Midwife, 6 as a Hypnobirthing teacher and being a Mum of three) hypnobirthing techniques are actually even more valuable in a birth where there is an induction, or indeed any other clinical intervention.

The reason I know this to be true is that the whole purpose of the Calm Births course is to provide birthing person and partner with the full set of knowledge and skills needed to know how to override feelings of fear, overwhelm or stress and replace them with calm, positive ones. Once we are able to do this, our body responds accordingly, making the process happen so much more easily.

In a birth where we might need intervention such as induction, it can feel like our birth is being taken out of our control, and that we are helpless in this situation. This is not how we envisage giving birth, or indeed how we want to feel during it. And so with our help, you will fully understand the process, and will hone your skills to flick that override switch at any time you need to, allowing you to sail through the process smoothly and positively.

Having written and taught this course since 2015, and now with 40+ teachers across the UK, our feedback in this scenario is consistent - you can read about two of our clients journeys here and here.

So in conclusion, YES! We know and can say, hand on heart, that hypnobirthing definitely does work for induction!

Hypnobirthing for elective C-Section.

We are so excited to announce the arrival of our new course - Hypnobirthing for elective C-Section.

We know that the use of hypnobirthing techniques during pregnancy has huge benefits for both the parent and the baby - there’s a really interesting TED talk about relaxation during pregnancy here which explains how if we are able to relax, it actually wires the baby’s brain to have lower stress receptors - it’s fascinating!

So we know the benefits are huge during pregnancy for both parent and baby , but what about the birth itself if you’re having surgery?

Did you know that the use of self-hypnosis during surgery is proven to:

• Reduce anxiety

• Reduce blood pressure

• Lower heart rate

• Increase haemodynamic stability (less blood loss)

• Lower perceived level of pain

• Lower the risk of complications during surgery

Anecdotally, it is also believed that recovery time after surgery is also quicker.

The techniques that we teach are to prepare you to feel calm and in control in ANY situation - yes for birth, but also for major events such as surgery, a visit to the dentist, flying, PARENTING a newborn! Entering a hospital and being in theatre can feel very anxiety inducing, and so these techniques are designed to leave you both feeling fully prepared, calm and in control for a really positive, wonderful experience.

Something else we feel is very important to be included in this course is the techniques for early labour, as although a C-section is booked we do know that some parents can go into labour ahead of this. This can be a source of anxiety if you don’t know what to expect or how to cope with those early surges. So on the course we run through exactly what is happening to the body, and what you can do to remain feeling calm and in control until you are taken to theatre.

We run through exactly what it will look like on the day you have your baby, so that you are fully prepared and know what to expect. We then teach you how to use those relaxation techniques during this time to make it go more smoothly and for you to feel more calm and positive.

Early feedback from clients has been wonderful - they have been left feeling ready and excited:

I’m excited! I am nervous of corse, but I also am confident that my partner and I will be able to follow through with all the techniques we have learnt, and it is going to be a wonderful experience! I am looking forward to having a happy positive birth!

So please be assured that hypnobirthing is for ANY kind of birth, including yours. So all Calm Births teachers are now able to teach this 4 session course - to find your local teacher simply click here x

Meet Clare Lowing, the Postnatal Doula.

2020 has been a ridiculous year for everyone, and for those who have had or are having lockdown babies it is particularly challenging. Gone are the support groups of new Mums that you would normally have, gone are the friends and families popping round and helping you out. I feel for you, it’s a tough time.

But there are people out there who are helping, such as the wonderful services offered by postnatal doulas. A postnatal doula is someone who will offer you personal support both practically and emotionally after the birth of your baby.

I recently had the pleasure of meeting Clare Lowing, a postnatal Doula with many years experience and this is what I learned:

1. Hi Clare, please do introduce yourself and tell us a little about you!

Hi Hannah, Thank you for inviting me to chat with you. I’m passionate about birth and parenting and work with parents to make their early experience of parenting as positive and peaceful as possible. I’m originally from this area and it’s lovely to be back; having met my future husband at Henley College, our youngest is now studying there herself. This year I’ve especially enjoyed walking and swimming in the beautiful countryside and time for myself has included sewing, baking or writing. A perfect day would include an outdoor swim, a home-cooked meal and a board game with my family.

2. How long have you worked in and around birth and parenting? What brought you to it?

When my first daughter was born I went to a Baby Massage course purely to meet other mums; I was in deepest rural Devon and felt pretty isolated. As an Aromatherapist I felt I knew about massage but I had lots to learn about babies and went on to train as an Infant Massage Instructor with the International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM). That was about 18 years ago and I still love running these courses now. The key is that the course is about more than the massage; it’s about creating a space for mums to get-together, share and support one another. (By the way, dads and partners are very welcome to the sessions). I find it genuinely rewarding and along the way I’ve taken courses in Breastfeeding support, become a Postnatal Doula and worked as an NCT Practitioner for 10 years. I also set up Exeter Homebirth Support Group, which is one of the things of which I’m most proud.

3. What is it that you aim to do for your clients?

I say that I know I’ve been successful when my clients don’t need me anymore! As a postnatal doula, I’m ‘mothering the mother’ and what that looks like depends on what each family is looking for. I’m often providing nurturing home-cooked meals, helping with feeding issues like positioning and attachment and demonstrating, either ways to wear a baby carrier or massage for colic relief. At other times, I am taking an older child for a walk with the dog so mum can have some alone time with the baby or I’m giving dad a shoulder massage. At the end of my time with a family they should feel connected to other new families and sources of support in their area, including my Mums Group or Walk and Talk.
I started running Walk and Talk groups with the aim of providing an environment where parents and parents-to-be would find it easier to make conversations and boost their mental health. I love nothing more than listening to parents give suggestions to other parents, I’ve learnt that each mum or dad is the expert on their baby. My role is often just about helping them realise that, rather than giving them lots of advice, although there is some of that too!

4. Who are your clients and at what point is it best for them to get in touch with you?

It’s great when pregnant women and their families get in touch whether it’s for antenatal information or because they are planning their ‘peaceful postpartum’. Today we often plan carefully for birth and neglect those important early days but by planning before the birth we can make the whole new parenting experience positive and relaxed. I’m also often contacted by new parents interested in Baby Massage and Walk and Talk and they could get in touch anytime. The ideal time to start offering massage is about six weeks and my courses welcome pre-crawling babies.

5. How do you feel that COVID has affected what you do and how you offer it? Is there more need for your services in this time?

I was blown away by the response when I created a closed community Facebook group for new and expectant parents back in March. Connecting with other parents was and is more important now than ever. I moved my services straight on to Zoom and haven’t looked back. It’s not the same as face to face but in Mums Group we learnt to use breakout rooms as the group grew and we started sharing songs and games for babies. I’ve found that there are even advantages to running Baby Massage courses on Zoom - if you don’t like singing or feel your baby is too noisy, just mute! Discreet feeding and nappy changing is easy. Plus there’s none of the stress involved in getting out of the house on time. So that the mums can meet face to face, we’re meeting for socially distanced walks, which works as there is a maximum of five families in the group. I do miss baking for new mums though and look forward to re-starting face to face groups in 2021.

6. What piece of advice would you like to give to pregnant Mums right now?

Trust your instincts, know your rights, gather your support group. Plan for the early days as much as for the birth; download my free Peaceful Postpartum Planner here!

7. And finally, how can people get in touch with you to find out more?T

hank you Hannah. People can have a look at my website: www.birthbabyparent.com or find me on Facebook www.facebook.com/birthbabyparent. I’m more than happy to chat through what support or course might work best.

How do I choose a hypnobirthing teacher?

So you’re pregnant and have done your research, you’ve discovered that hypnobirthing is definitely something you’d like to explore. You probably have a little Google search for ‘hypnobirthing near me’, you have a little look on Facebook or your friend tells you about her amazing local hypnobirthing teacher. Great. But then you see that there are four different teachers in your town - how do you choose?!

It can be really difficult so we thought we’d give you a few pointers to look out for in trying to make that choice.

Midwife led Hypnobirthing Classes

One of the most important things in our mind is this - are the hypnobirthing classes run by a Midwife? No? That’s fine - they don’t have to be, but is the course they are teaching written by a Midwife and/or approved by the Royal College of Midwives?

See the thing is this - around 50% of the Calm Births teachers are not Midwives, but they are amazing and excellent teachers (who are usually Mums who have hypnobirthed themselves) and they teach our course which is not only written by a Midwife, but also fully accredited by the Royal College of Midwives. So we know that we are giving all our expectant parents around the UK good, sound, clinically correct information. You are safe in their hands.

Is the teacher actually teaching?

Something I’ve noticed recently is that although there are several listings on Google for hypnobirthing teachers in different towns, once you investigate, those teachers are no longer practising. I’ve had clients make a few different phone calls before they’ve come to me and not had any response from those others (and when I’ve investigated, it’s been because they’re now closed down). So check carefully!

What is she saying on social media?

So great, I’ve found a few hypnobirthing teachers near me, they’re all in business and they’re all Midwives. NOW how do I choose? We suggest taking a little snoop at their social media pages, are they on Facebook? Instagram? Are there any videos of them talking? Do you feel aligned to their message? Which leads us to:

Do you feel aligned to her?

Although all Calm Births teachers are teaching the same content, we are all very different people from very different backgrounds, and so therefore you will be more drawn to some than others. And that’s great - sometimes it’s as simple as that! Do you like what she’s saying and how she’s saying it? Can you trust your birth preparation journey in her hands?

When are her classes?

And finally, down to simple logistics - when are their classes, do the dates fall in with your weeks of pregnancy? (Ideally somewhere between 20 & 34 weeks) And does the day / time of the week work for you? Or does she offer private classes that you can make the days work?

So I really hope that helps a little - ultimately any hypnobirth preparation classes are going to be helpful, but even better if you get the right teacher for you!

To check out where your local Calm Births teacher is have a look here.

What do I need to have ready for baby?

Much like the Hospital Bag scenario, it's really difficult to know exactly what you really need to have ready for baby's arrival, and what's surplus to requirements! There are so many things that you will be told that you absolutely MUST have for baby, the latest gadgets and gismos to make life easier. 

Everyone is different and chooses to live their lives differently, and that's what makes life interesting, but I personally believe that the majority of those gadgets and gismos for baby actually just make life more complicated and cluttered. 

So what do you actually need? Well a baby needs to be warm, fed, changed, loved and to sleep. Those are the things it actually needs. So with that in mind:

Clothes - well, yes. You'll need lots of vests, babygrows and hats. Depending on the time of year, they might also need a snowsuit to snuggle in for being outside (but this should be removed when they're in their car seat - see some guidelines on that here). It's always difficult to know if baby is warm enough, the best way to tell is to feel their chest or their back, it should just feel the same warmth as you. 

Food - if you're planning to breastfeed you've already got everything you need. If you're going to formula feed then you'll need formula, bottles, teats and a way to sterilise. You can get sucked into gadgetry here but you really don't need to. The easiest way to keep bottles sterile is to buy the traditional sterilising tablets and have a bowl in the kitchen with it in (replaced every 24 hours), and put bottles into it after you've washed them after each use. Then you've always got a sterile bottle ready to go, at the right temperature. If you buy a microwave steriliser, they are great but if you need a bottle NOW (which can happen!!) then it will be too hot straight after use and you'll have to wait for it to cool down. Ever tried explaining to a hungry baby that it needs to wait patiently???!!!!  And I will sound like my Mother now, but room temperature is right for baby as that is how your milk comes if you were breastfeeding. If you ever offer baby warmed milk you're really setting yourself up for trouble - be warned!!!! 

Also in the food category I would say Muslins - you cannot have enough muslins, you'll need one in every room and one in your changing bag. Baby's throw up, often on you when you're out! They also dribble whilst feeding or just after, having a mussy tucked under their chin or to hand to mop up is great. Buy lots of these!!!

Changing - The bag. God people spend £££££'s on changing bags! I've always found that a nice big handbag with lots of pockets is fine, it doesn't have to be an official 'changing bag' to serve it's purpose! 

You'll obviously need nappies (buy shares in these!), some people prefer cloth and some prefer disposable - it's your choice. Warm water and cotton wool is the gentlest way to clean baby's bottom, but this isn't practical when you're out so you will need wipes if you ever want to leave the house. I do strongly suggest buying a tub of vaseline, if you apply this generously to baby's bottom and bits after each nappy change, you will avoid nappy rash - it also means that poo doesn't stick to their skin and comes off easily. You're welcome. 

Sleeping - Again this comes down to choice, but baby is safe to co-sleep with you under usual circumstances, and you cannot spoil a newborn baby. Just because they co-sleep with you for the first couple of months of their lives (or longer), doesn't mean that they'll be 12 and sleeping in your bed. However it is important to be armed with the facts on co-sleeping, and you can find those with the Lullaby Trust. There are lots of options to have baby in your room and very close to you if you prefer not to co-sleep, such as a Moses basket next to your bed.

Baby will need other things as time goes on, but you will discover what you would like to have for him or her as you go along. You'll want a play mat or something that you can lay baby down on, but you won't need this immediately. 

The first few weeks baby will just need to be close to you - slings are amazing for this, and most (but not all) babies will be happy to just be in the sling with you whilst you are out and about. There are lots of sling libraries popping up now where you can try different types out to see how you like them before you buy one. 

When out and about you'll also want a car seat and a pram - this is pretty overwhelming for most of us, just have a play with things until you find the one that works for you. But please don't fall into the trap of carrying baby around everywhere in the car seat, it's not good for them and it's not good for your back! 

And finally: Love. And I'm pretty sure you've got that covered.

How to shorten your labour by eating dates!

So we've been talking about the importance of eating Dates in the last month of pregnancy for several months now at Calm Births. So I thought it about time to actually sit down and take a look at the evidence!

So what's all this about eating dates? You may or not have heard but eating 6 dates per day will:

Lessen your chances of needing induction and make your labour shorter.

Woah there! Stop the press! What?! This is incredible news! So there have been a few good studies on this in the last few years and they all reached the same conclusions.

It is thought by Alkoran et al (2017) that date fruit 'probably influenced oxytocin receptors, caused more effective contractions, and better prepared the cervix for delivery'. Our ability to respond to Oxytocin (or, the 'hormone of love' as it's known) increases during pregnancy, and we produce more of it. All that lovely Oxytocin then encourages our uterine muscles to surge in order to ripen and open the cervix. So if dates are enhancing that process, then happy days! 

So as well as women being statistically more likely to go into spontaneous labour, they are also, according to these studies, going to be:

More dilated when arriving at a hospital/birth centre, more likely to have a vaginal birth and less likely to have a post-partum haemorrhage. 

Khadem et al (2007) found that 'date fruit has an oxytocin-like effect, leading to the increased sensitivity of the uterus, stimulating uterine contractions and reduces mean post partum haemorrhage'. 

The evidence is there, and reassuringly all studies conclude that Dates are beneficial for women during late pregnancy, as they reduce the need for intervention and there are no adverse effects on Mother or child. 

So - 6 dates a day from 36 weeks ladies! Ok, so admittedly dates aren't the most visually appealing fruit, and I know a lot of you are thinking yes but.. euughhh!!

So here are a few ideas for you on how to jazz them up a bit to eat them!

1. You can chop them up on cereal for a quick dose in the morning

 2. Some of these smoothies sound delish

3. Sticky toffee date cake? Yes please! 

4. A date and walnut cake, yum.

5. This super healthy Mongolian Beef recipe. 

I'd love to know how you get on with the date eating, has it worked for you? Have you any great recipes for Dates? I'd love to read your comments! x 

How bad IS induction of labour?...

So one question which always lingers in people's minds is how to use HypnoBirthing techniques if they are induced - won't it all go out of the window? Well, the answer is no, it won't. I want to reassure you that the process of induction isn't an evil thing to be dreaded, and you have everything you need to make it a positive experience with HypnoBirthing. You can read about two positive births following Induction from Calm Births clients here and here.

So induction can be suggested to you for various reasons, sometimes because you are considered to be 'post dates', sometimes due to clinical indications that you or baby would be safer if baby was born sooner than later. This is not a post to merit the pro's and con's of why induction is called for (that's a whole post on it's own!) but about the process itself. The below outline is on the assumption that you and baby are in no clinical compromise, and it's important to remember that each woman is individual and will therefore be treated accordingly. This is really a guideline for how it works if you are induced for being 'overdue' or there is no clinical urgency to birth your baby. It's really important to know that Midwives are aiming to do everything they can to help your body take over and go into labour with a nudge, they will be encouraging you to do everything possible to help along the way.

Once you are in your due time (and remember, there is a FIVE week window in which you are considered 'term' - from 37 to 42 weeks) your Midwife might offer you the option of having a Stretch & Sweep (awful name, I know) sometimes referred to as a 'Membrane Sweep'. This is a vaginal examination where the Midwife will locate your cervix and attempt to rotate her finger into the OS - this is hoped to trigger the cervix into releasing prostaglandins, which will encourage your body into labour. This process can be uncomfortable as the cervix can be quite far back, it can cause some uterine tightenings afterwards too. Studies have shown that it can help avoid any further means of induction, and that there is no increased risk of infection to the woman. Personally, I would weigh up how you feel about vaginal examinations - if they feel you with horror and anxiety then it might just be counter productive for you. If you don't really mind and are actually really keen (by 41 weeks for example) to go into labour, then discuss it with your Midwife. This is only offered as an option, it's not something you have to have. Don't forget to eat your dates at this point too - read about that here.

Different NHS trusts have different policies on induction, and so I won't go into specifics of what happens but try to paint a general picture. If it is agreed that induction is the best course of action for you, and you both understand why it is needed and are happy about it, then the ball will start rolling with your admittance to a labour ward. The first thing to happen will be an insertion of a pessary into the vagina which contains prostaglandins, which will help to ripen the cervix. This is a bit like a tampon usually, and is left inside the vagina for 24 hours - you will usually need to stay in the hospital, and the Midwives will encourage you to go for a walk, and to stay active to let gravity help you. This method is often all that is needed to give your body a kick start into going into labour, and then your body takes over and does what it's supposed to do to birth your baby.

If, after 24 hours, surges haven't started or become regular, then you will be examined again to see what is happening. Trusts vary on this, but some will give you a further 12 hours to let nature take over and others will want to intervene straight away. The next stage is usually for the Midwives to attempt to break the membrane seal, or 'break your waters'. This is another vaginal examination but is painless, it's really just popping a balloon with a plastic hook - it doesn't touch your skin or hurt you, it's usually quite a feeling of relief as the fluid releases.

This is then enough for some people's bodies to take over and go into labour, and varying amounts of time are then allowed for a woman's body to do it's thing. If, after the allotted time, labour still hasn't begun then the Syntocinon drip will be introduced. This is begun on a teensy amount, and gradually and slowly increased if it's needed to in order to encourage your uterus to begin tightening. Now, it is begun slowly, but as your body is being 'put' into labour at that point, you don't have quite the same amount of endorphin build up as if you had begun to labour naturally, and so pain relief is usually offered to you. If you need it, use it - there are no points awarded to someone for needing pain relief and refusing it!! This is the time when you need to remember all of your HypoBirthing techniques to help you to build your own endorphins, plug yourself in to your Relaxation audio, use your visualisations and light touch massage - birth partners need to pull it all out of the bag at this point!  

The key is to remain open minded and positive, just go with the flow at each stage, and embrace each stage as one nearer meeting your baby. Focus on the end goal of holding your baby in your arms, and their gaze meeting yours for the first time. You have all the breathing techniques and relaxation techniques that you need to make this a wonderful, positive birth so enjoy it!! xx 

The Hospital Bag.

"What should I pack in my hospital bag? "

This is a question that looms in the minds of many Mums to be  - there is so much information out there about what you absolutely must have in your hospital bag. There are lists on Pinterest, there are pages on websites, there are helpful friends and family telling you what you MUST have - it can all feel a little overwhelming and can become quite a thing to fixate on and worry about.

The struggle is real..

In my years as a Midwife and after three babies of my own (who were born at home, but still all had a hospital bag packed from 37 weeks just in case) I have learnt what is actually essential in your bag - it's so easy to get carried away with this, with all the various lists out there on the interweb! So thought it might be helpful to share my basic hospital bag list - this is the stuff you need, everything else is just extras. Keep it basic, you're not going to Outer Mongolia. 

For Mum:

Your handheld notes - you will definitely need these.

Maternity Pads - these are the massive surf board ones - it's very important to use these and not the regular sanitary pads as they are designed for the Midwives (and you) to be able to monitor your blood loss after birth, if it's all absorbed in a pad it's more tricky. 

Comfy PJ's / Nightie that you can snuggle into after birth, preferably ones that you can snuggle baby into the front of too for some lovely skin to skin cuddles (and to breastfeed if you are choosing to)

MASSIVE comfy pants - literally buy a size or two bigger than usual of pants like you're Granny would wear. You'll appreciate it trust me. It also helps to house those massive pads!

Normal toiletries (shower gel, deodorant, toothbrush/paste, hairbrush/band) - even if you plan to go straight home after baby has been born (you'll be recommended to wait at least 6 hours), a shower and a teeth clean will feel like heaven afterwards.

Lip balm - it's really normal for your lips and mouth to get really dry if using gas & air.

Snackage - This should be the first priority in my mind!!!! But seriously, do take little snacks that might take your fancy during labour to keep your energy up, like jelly babies or snack bars, and also juice cartons or energy drinks. Don't forget, you're not planning on going to the Moon to have your baby, so there will always be a little shop/vending machine you can use if you need to! 

Nipple cream - obvs only if you're planning to breasfeed! But buy a good one like Lansinoh because in my experience nothing else even comes close.

An open mind - this is so important. To enter into labour and birth with an open mind and a 'go with the flow' attitude will serve you so well. Trust in the process and your body, trust in nature to take it's course and be open to however it all pans out. There is no right or wrong way to give birth. There is just birth. 

For Baby:

Nappies - obvs. Put a whole pack in. Trust me on that one.

Clothes - obvs again, but don't underestimate how many clothes a small thing can get through in a short space of time! To be totally safe take 5 or 6 of: vests, babygrows and hats.

Muslins - again you will not believe how many of these you might get through, put at least 5 in.

Baby wipes/Cotton wool - it is known to be better for baby's skin to use cotton wool and warm water to wipe their bottom and the hospital will have top and tail bowls for you to use for that. However the first few meconium poos are a nightmare to wipe, and in those instances baby wipes are much easier! 

Vaseline - if you cover baby's bottom and bits with vaseline after each clean, it makes the poo not stick to the skin and therefore much easier to clean. You're welcome.

A boob / A bottle - If you're not sure how you're planning to feed, you will already have a boob with you and you can always send someone out for formula! (This is where those muslins come in handy for dribbly feeders and also modesty)

Phone charger - to keep the juice on your phone for those all important calls & social media announcements!

Love - to give in abundance.

For Birth Partner:

Change - for car parks or vending machines

Toiletries - you might be there for a while and want to freshen up yourself, so pop in a spare toothbrush, deodorant etc.

Spare t-shirt - it gets REALLY hot in hospital, and you might feel a bit gross if you're there for a while!

Snacks - hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman when you've stolen her snacks. Keep your own stash!!

Phone charger - because you'll be taking a zillion photo's of your new baby!

Encouragement - telling your partner that they are loved, safe and doing an amazing thing will really spur her on and help her. You can't say these things too much in my opinion.

Just in case the thought of getting everything together is a bit stressful, I've put all the things you'll need for labour and the immediate postnatal period together in a convenient bag for you! You can read about your pre-packed birth bags here. x 

Midwifery vs HypnoBirthing.....

I was asked recently why I left Midwifery to take up HypnoBirthing teaching. It took me a while to formulate an answer if I'm honest.  And then Facebook reminded me this week that it's been two years since I left my job as a Midwife. This brought up very mixed emotions for me, as I looked at the image of my little send off with my amazing colleagues at the maternity unit.

I love, love LOVED being a Midwife and still believe that it is one of the most challenging, rewarding, amazing jobs in the world. I loved being a part of peoples journey's into becoming a family, or extending their family. To share in one of the biggest experiences in someones life, and hopefully help to make it the best possible experience in their given situation, is an honour and a privilege.

However, sometimes it's just not enough.

Often as a Midwife the first time you meet a couple is when they are coming in to hospital in labour, or when you are called to their home when in labour. By this time the destiny of that birth is almost already written, the mother is already pre-programmed with how she is going to birth. And all you can do as a Midwife is make that journey the safest, calmest, best experience possible in that moment. And a lot of the time that is enough, the woman is able to trust you, trust her body and trust her baby, and she achieves a beautiful, calm birth.

But sometimes, a woman is entering into birth feeling anxious, frightened, and sure that this is going to be the most painful, horrific experience of her life and it's just something she's got to get through. 

And this is why Calm Births is so important to me, I can get in there from the start, before the birth process is even close usually. I can meet families and re-write the destiny of their birth story, I can re-programme the beliefs and dismiss the anxieties around labour and birth. I can do my utmost to ensure that women and their birth partners are entering into labour and birth with a skill set to help them relax, trust in the process and even enjoy the process. 

And yes, I miss out on the birth itself, but I can leave that to my wonderful beautiful Midwife friends who do such an amazing job, and trust that with a combination of awesome antenatal education and lovely Midwives, we can make a difference to women's birth stories.

And that, is why I do what I do.